I have really been struggling for the last couple of months. I struggle with knowing if I am making the right decision. I struggle knowing if I am following God's plan. I know that He has a plan for me.
I was driving home from school back in September when I heard a whisper that I should apply to Lees' Summit School District. WHAT? I had a great day at school. Why should I change, I thought? Then about a week later my friend informed me that there will be 3 openings at Mason Elementary. Mason only has about 14 teachers so it is unheard of to have 3 openings. A couple weeks after that our sermon was about listening to God's whisper. In my heart I knew it was time. It was time to act on these whispers I have been hearing. In fact, by now these aren't whispers. I feel like He is shouting at me. HELLO, do you get it yet? I get my application, cover letters, resume, references and all that jazz together and submitted. As I wait for his plan to unravel I hear about a new position at BSSD. This position would be a great job. It would be closer to home. It would be with Michelle. It would be where my nieces go. It would be the perfect job for me. Now I am confused. Should I apply for the new position within BSSD? I think hard about it and pray about it. My poor teaching partner has heard me go back and forth about what I should do. Every time I sat down to apply for the job I hit a stumbling block. The first time I tried to apply I did not have all the information I needed to apply. The next time I tried BSSD's site was down. I tried one last time and I ran out of time to apply. (I know now that these were all signs that I should not apply.) Yesterday was the due date to turn in the application. I really struggled knowing if I should go forward with this. I talked to my small group about what I should do. I talked to my husband about it. I did not feel any peace after talking to people about what to do. I finally went to God about it. I got on my knees and I prayed. I prayed for a sign. On my way to work yesterday I cried. I want to make sure I am doing what He wants me to do not what I want to do. I had a nice long talk with Whitney. She confirmed my decision. I was starting to get a clear picture that I need to let this new position go. I e-mail Jodi just to confirm my decision. (That is a whole different story. :) Thanks so much for all you did that day Jodi!) God has something better for me. My heart's desire is to be in Lees Summit. My heart's desire is to be at Mason.
Wow, this feels good. I start to feel at peace with my decision to let this position go. I came home and was telling Steve about my day and how I was letting it go. A few hours later Mason brings me my phone. I kid you not, there were bible verses listed on my phone. This is literally laugh out loud funny. I often joke and ask God to send my text messages because I "can't" hear his whispers. The bible verses were Philippians 4:6 (Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.) and Matthew 21:22 (If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.) REALLY? I feel like this was God shouting at me again. I really feel at peace with His decision. I know now that it was the right thing to do, letting the position go. I know that is not what He has in plan for me. Thanks be to God for sending me a text message.
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